Being a grandmother…now, three times over, the holidays take on a bigger significance for me. After becoming a mother many, many years ago, things shifted to being about the children…my children. Holidays became a whirlwind of happiness and exhaustion! Now, my children’s generation is experiencing that whirlwind first-hand, and I’m able to plan for each event with a little more energy since I don’t have to be up at night for the 3am feedings…
Even though I still have one child at home, I’m trying to find my new role as the supporter and enabler. My house is transitioning from “Mom’s House” to “Lolly’s House”. But what does that mean for me as a woman…a person?
I’ve never looked at becoming a grandmother as a lesser-role. As far as responsibility and influence go, it’s like the rest of my life: as my age increases, so should my wisdom and influence…
And if that’s the case, then I have an increased responsibility to use that influence not just in my immediate family, but also everywhere I have a voice.
I think many women struggle to find their voice or their place as their nest becomes more and more empty. For me, I choose to tackle this by constantly filling my nest…
Every year my nest gets fuller, rather than emptier. I could have never had biological children at all and I still could grow my nest and increase my influence.
All women have a voice and a place regardless of their motherhood status.
So, how does this paradigm shift in my life affect my every day? How does it affect my view of the holidays?
Well, of course, my role as “Lolly” is enriched by thinking about the holidays through the eyes of my grandchildren, but what if I didn’t have all these kids to help me find my role?
Halloween clarifies this for me every year.
If you know me, you know that I’m not a big celebrator of Halloween… The creepy and the scary is just not my thing. In fact, when my kids were little, we basically just pretended that the day didn’t exist.
Left to my own devices and in my own comfortability, I would just turn the lights out and act like no one is home…
But as I’ve gotten older and my influence has increased, I have begun to look at the world around me less from the perspective of my own comfort and more from the perspective of others.
Hospitality has become something that I cherish. It’s become like an art-form for me. So I don’t really feel that I have the luxury to not think about others during the holidays…
It’s not just about me anymore.
Nothing brings this fact into focus more than Halloween.
If it’s truly about others and making them feel loved and cherished, then I have to take a second look at this holiday. The truth is that there is no other day of the year that people of all kinds come eagerly to my door…they bring their most precious possession: their children to my door and allow me to “ooh” and “aw” over their costumes, they let me give their little ones gifts in the form of treats…
They ask me to be hospitable and kind.
I have the privilege of showing them what coming to my house feels like…Lolly’s House. It may very well be the only visit to a grandmother’s house that they will get to experience during the whole of the holiday season. It may very well be the only kindness they experience all day…week…year.
I may be overstating the significance of this one day…but what if I’m not?
I’ve begun to look for meaning in life not just from being a mother or how many kids I have been blessed with, but rather how much of a blessing I can be to as many as God brings into my path. And since I’ve begun to look for these opportunities, I’ve found my place.
So no matter how full or empty my nest is, I’m still “Lolly” and there’s always kindness to be shared at my house…Lolly’s House.❣️
And that makes me smile, even if I have to wade through scary clown costumes to do it!?
Peace to you…